The Black Woman's Guide
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Pictures, Pictures, Pictures! (Updated 8/11/07)
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Happy Summer! (8/11/07)
Hello Ladies,
I have been so bad about posting pictures, nuggets and writing newsletters lately. I am struggling to balance family and work -- I am sure other mothers out there can relate. I have been working to improve/refine my line of hair care products, finish a long overdue book on weight-loss, redesign this website (really create a new one), work to help my husband with his business, AND the kids are still out for summer vacation from school!
During times of overload a lot of the things I want to do creatively and on a personal level either fall by the wayside or get scaled back. Many of you may have noticed that I have not made as many updates to the site as I have wanted, and I have been so much slower on responding to mail. I am sorry, but I am on overload. Because of that, over the last year I have also been neglecting my hair from a conditioning perspective...
A cousin with beautiful hair mentioned that she did not deep condition at home (sitting under a dryer with conditioner on) after shampooing. Because she gets such good results, and because I have been so busy, I talked myself into believing that I could keep my hair sufficiently conditioned by doing pre-shampoo conditioning treatments... I used mostly hot oil and creme moisturizers (e.g., Motions, Garnier Fructis, KeraCare Humecto, etc.). During this time, I also have been allowing my stylist to blow dry my hair after relaxers and coloring appts, even though she was using a conditioner that does not require heat for activation (so no deep conditioner). Regardless, my hair just looks so smooth and silky when after she blow drys it and bumps the ends -- It looks a lot longer than air drying normally gets it, and I get so many compliments (I will post a picture for you to see later)!
Anyway, at the last appt I had (for color) about 7 weeks before this picture was taken, my stylist looked at my ends and said she didn't like the way things were looking, so she recommended a protein treatment. I agreed and mentioned that I had been swimming quite a bit and had just returned from GA (I sweated a lot, and my hair would get wet anytime I wore it down). As a result, I kept noticing that my ends were looking frizzy and beaten up even though I trim them almost weekly to keep them even and split-end free. To combat this, I had been spritzing them daily with my Moisturizing & Detangling Mist, rubbing on a little Oil Spray and sealing them with a small amount of Ends Treatment. While this temporarily takes care of the symptoms, a more serious problem was being masked...
Long story short (more details coming in vol. 10 of newsletter), I started to kick myself for not following my own guidelines/book. I don't know if I thought I had "arrived" or that my hair was healthy from all of the recent years of deep conditioning, but I messed up. Didn't I tell people in my book that chemically-treated hair is damaged, so it needs to be deep conditioned on a regular basis????? Then I have the nerve to go almost a year without doing it!!!!! What on Earth was I thinking??????
Today (8/15) my stylist explained that even though my hair has felt good after I performed my light-conditioning routine, it is not providing sufficient conditioning benefit for the length and age of my hair or for the level of activity I participate in. So she recommended that I go back to deep conditioning weekly as soon as possible. She confirmed that the deep conditioning I do at home makes more of a difference than the ones she does at the salon. So I decided to go back to my old trusted regimen, which works, and I will document my findings in a 3rd edition of my book.
In the meantime, here is a picture from last week. It is after a long-awaited date night with the husband. I shampooed and deep conditioned, air dried and curled my hair under on four large Caruso curlers. I sprayed a little Isoplus Oil Sheen on it and separated the curls for each section without coming. I thought it looked pretty good before and after a night of dancing. Even though it looks nice and shiny here, I do agree with my stylist that if I want to get my hair into better shape, I must deep condition. So for now own, I have re-learned my lesson -- my hair is not exempt, and what I knew to be true before for my hair is still true today!
Hopefully you are all deep conditioning as needed and taking care of your hair, mind, body and spirit on a daily basis!
Take Care & God Bless,
Carolyn
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3-9-07 A Belated Happy New Year (Part 1 -- Hair Up)
Hello Ladies,
Hope you all are well. Sorry it has been so long since I last posted a picture. I have been meaning to do it for weeks, but you know how life goes... In this picture I am soooo.... tired! After a busy day at work, commuting home, it is Friday night, and my son had basketball practice and then my other son had an end of the season party to go to. Oh yeah, and we went to Target in between! I let my husband go watch the NCAA basketball games, so I did not get home until almost 10 pm! I am still wearing my work clothes, and I am not just tired, but I am "tied" right about now! Is a mom's job ever done?
I originally planned to come home after all of the activity, pop open a can of Red Bull and work on finishing my latest book, but my husband needed me to find the digital camera. So after I found it, I remembered that I needed to take pictures for the website. So instead of chilling, I decided to share two pictures: 1) a picture of me wearing my low-maintenance, protective hair style, shown here (as you may have guessed, this is not all my hair); and 2) a picture after I took the hair piece off (I did comb it a little so I wouldn’t look as crazy as I feel, especially since the ends are “crunchy”). Note to self, don’t work out wearing a hair piece when your hair is in a bun underneath! The hair gets damp and it dries slowly because it is covered.).
It has been cold and windy in my neck of the woods, so I just put my hair in a bun, covered it with a hair piece, pinned it, and brushed my edges down. Now speaking of my edges, I let my stylist put permanent color around my edges last week (I normally do semi or demi) to try to more effectively fight the gray. This was just a test to see if I would get better results and to see how my hair would respond. Well, I must say the stylist was right about permanent color... I do think it can change the texture of your hair, and I noticed that my edges became more sparse/thinner. I really don’t believe permanent color is for everyone, especially me. Guess what else? In a week’s time, new gray is sprouting already, so I will never use permanent color again – it not worth the potential damage, and I can’t see where the results are worth the risks.
Now back to this hairstyle. I was very surprised that I got a lot of compliments from Indian women who did not realize that it wasn't all my hair. They actually said they want to buy a hair piece from the Home Shopping Network as well because it looks very believable. Go figure. The less I do, the more people like it! This style works for me occasionally as I try to give my ends a break from coats, scarves, sweaters, wind and cold. This is especially a good thing as my goal is now to thicken more so than to lengthen my hair.
Speaking of thickening, when I got my color done last week. My stylist looked at the right side of my hair with concern, and said, "I am not liking what I am seeing here." I basically brushed her off by saying, "Oh the ends are just crunchy because of me working out." She said, "No, it looks like major breakage is going on..." I looked to see what she meant, and I realized she was talking about the "new" hair that has been growing in and is just becoming noticeable. If you look at my pictures/posts over the last year and a half, you may hear how obsessed I am about taking it easy on the chemicals --relaxers and coloring. The reason I am so obsessed about relaxing/coloring with care is because I have been trying to get my hair to grow back thicker around my edges and on my right side for years. Not until I started stretching out my relaxers (10 weeks and beyond), stopped coloring at the same time as touch-ups and started using natural oils (e.g., rosemary, cedarwood, clary sage, etc. -- found in my HHIB Oil Spray) on my scalp did the hair start to grow back in these problem areas. So to the stylist it was alarming to see a section on my back right side was only shoulder length when most of my hair is past my brastrap when straight. So I was praising the Lord because I used to wonder if hair would ever grow back in those areas, especially when a dermatologist's prescription of steroids and Rogaine did not get the hair to grow back in these problem areas. So I am hoping to keep doing what I am doing and hopefully by the time I am 45 my hair will all be the same thickness and length! That is my dream anyway. So this is why you will continue to hear me lecture about the dangers of overuse of heavy-duty chemicals on our hair. Ladies, please be careful, especially with overlapping. Once your hair is overprocessed it can take years to recover. I wish someone would have told me in my late 20's or early 30's; however, I am glad that I found out before all of my hair experienced severe thinning. So please learn from my suffering.
Obviously I missed sharing. Sorry I talked your ear off, but hopefully you will give your hair a break as it needs it. Until the next time, please take care of yourself and your hair!
Peace, Love & Blessings for 2007,
Carolyn Gray
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3-09-07 (Part 2 Hair Down)
Hello Again,
I talked enough in part 1. I am still tired, but I am one step closer to getting the contacts out and enjoying my Red Bull! While the boys are playing in the basement, I posed for this last picture. Like I said, I took off the hair piece first and combed my hair out a bit. To be perfectly honest, I did put in two Caruso Steam Hairsetters on the ends for about 5 minutes. After taking them out, I combed the ends and put on a headband. Not a lot of effort, especially for curls that will last me at least through Monday. I think the Caruso curlers were my best find/buy during the 90's -- they are so much better than curling irons and electric curlers. I mean they have made my life so much easier. I would definitely recommend them to anyone who likes to wear their hair curly.
So I got myself looking relatively decent even though the husband isn't home, only to pin my hair up as soon as I take off my work clothes. I put on my glasses, throw on a bathrobe and my Betty Boop slippers and sit on the couch. Finally I am chilling! For a few minutes at least... Then my boys come up and change "my" channel to one of "their" movies! So I take my laptop upstairs with the Red Bull, and about an hour later, one of my sons is in the bed with me commenting during MY show! He falls asleep, and then he is baby-snoring while I try to work!!!! Do any of you other mothers out there feel my pain????? I am smiling now, but being a mom is a hectic job!!!!! That's why you don't see as many pictures/posts from and why you haven't gotten a recent newsletter. However, I hope to do better in 2007!
Anyway, I think I have said enough for this post. I will try to post another picture in the next week, as I am getting ready to try out another pre-shampoo conditioning routine, which I think might work very well. I shall keep you posted.
Again, Peace, Love & Continual Blessings,
Carolyn Gray
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12-17-06 Merry Christmas & Happy New Year
Hello Ladies,
Hope you all had a great holiday season. I did, but it all goes so quickly. You spend so much time, money and effort getting ready for Christmas, and it is over before you know it! I almost wish the season could have lasted a week longer. Oh well there's always next year!
Hopefully you all are experiencing the gift of beautiful, healthier hair in this coming new year. I am still on my quest for beautiful, healthier and thicker hair. In that quest I had a very positive conditioning experience a few weeks before this picture that I wanted to share. Before shampooing, I have started massaging my scalp with my HHIB Hot Oil Treatment. After putting it onto to my hair and ends, I smoothed on a generous amount Organic Root Stimulator Hair Mayonnaise to my hair and ends. I then put a shower cap over my hair as I cleaned and worked around the house for at least an hour. Afterwards, I shampooed with Keracare Hydrating Detangling Shampoo and did a light conditioning with Keracare Humecto Crème Conditioner in the shower. I am here to tell you my hair was silky, silky as I rinsed out the conditioner. It felt too good!
I used the new and improved formula of my Moisturizing & Detangling Mist (available on 1/10/07) to comb through my hair. I then oiled my scalp with my HHIB Oil, and I air dried (in this picture my hair was blown dry at a salon though) like I normally do. My hair was so soft and shiny when it dried!
I am experimenting a lot with conditioning my hair before the shampoo. It is saving me time and effort. So when you are pressed for time, you may want to give it a try, especially this one. Would love to know if any of you try it. Feel free to drop me a line. Until then, be sure to take care of your hair, body and mind during the new year!
God Bless & Best Regards in The New Year,
Carolyn Gray
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9/24/06 Phase 1 (Hair Down)
Hello Ladies,
I am trying to make up for not posting pictures for such a long while. Here is a picture of me on Sunday after coming back from my son's soccer game and a Church celebration (my sister-in-law just released a gospel CD). So I decided to snap a few pictures.
Earlier in the day I did a pre-shampoo treatment with my HHIB Hot Oil Treatment, and I shampooed and conditioned with Doo Gro's MegaThick Anti-Thinning Shampoo and Conditioner. Overall, I think the products were okay. Maybe over the long-term they can deliver what they claim, but I am not very patient because I want a shampoo to be a great detangler, and I want my hair to be silky smooth afterwards. It was okay, but I struggled to get to my scalp while I was lathering, and I am not even at the five-week mark in my relaxer. As a result, there was a little residue left on my scalp. The conditioner did leave my hair feeling pretty smooth, so overall I would give the products a B- to a C+. Afterwards, I combed my hair through with my new and improved Moisturizing Detangling Mist, oiled my scalp with my Oil Spray and rubbed some on the hair and ends. I also put a little Ends Treatment on the ends. I then air dried my hair for almost an hour, and I blew the roots dry with my blow dryer. Once dry, I rubbed some Hair Creme onto sections of the hair and set my hair on five jumbo Caruso curlers going back and up. I left them in for about 10 minutes, and when I took them out, I sprayed my hair lightly with Isoplus Oil Spray. I then separated each section into individual spiral curls. I know it seems like a lot of steps, but from blow drying to the finished product, I only spent about 20 minutes on the effort.
The interesting part of this story is the fact that as I watched my son play his soccer game, it started to rain, and we didn't have an umbrella! Is that Murphy's Law or what? For the first few minutes I just sat there praying it wouldn't rain hard, but after a while I tried to cover my head with a chair covering. This didn't work so I said forget it. Fortunately, it didn't rain hard or long. So I was able to go to Church afterwards still looking decent (I didn't wear this top -this is just for the picture because it is hard to see dark hair on a black suit like I wore). I have found that the HHIB Oil Spray and Ends Treatment products keep my hair relatively frizz-free and straight even when it gets wet from sweat and/or rain, which is why I don't usually get too alarmed when I am caught in drizzle/light rain.
I am calling this look Phase 1 because once I left Church, I needed something more functional for getting people ready for the school/work week. So take a look at the Phase 2 picture to see an easy up-do I did. Just trying to give ideas. Hopefully it helps.
Best Regards,
Carolyn
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9-24-06 Phase 2 (Hair Up)
Hello Again,
I did everything mentioned in Phase 1: a preshampoo treatment, shampooed/conditioned, air dried and curled. However, as I tried to get ready for the school/work week, I pulled my hair in a side pony-tail, which I pulled up to the side, twisted and secured with a bobby pin on the top and one on the bottom. This is a quick and simple look which helped me do what I needed to do. Just sharing.
Take Care,
Carolyn
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Summer's Over (9-21-06)
Hi Ladies,
Sorry it has been a while, but I have been enjoying a wonderful summer. Now my kids are back in school, the homework has started (I did not miss this), I am back into the soccer mom role, it is getting darker sooner, so now I have taken my workouts back to the gym. During the summer we taught our kids how to play tennis, so most of my workouts were outside trying to beat my oldest son on the tennis court and the little running my knees will tolerate.
Now that I am back in the gym, keeping my ends from getting soaked is my goal. The use of my HHIB products (Oil Spray, Hair Creme and Ends Treatment) in the morning usually help keep my hair frizz-free and smooth even after I sweat, as long I keep the ends relatively dry. So today, I pulled my pony-tail up and secured it with bobby pins to keep it from touching my back and neck. This picture shows how my hair looked after I took the bobby pins out.
I can't tell you how I am enjoying my little pony-tail, especially at 40. For most of my life, I used to covet the pony-tails I saw other ladies sporting. I wanted one so badly! During the 80's I remember watching Pebbles' Mercedes Boy video, the one where she was riding in a Benz and wearing a hat with a cute pony-tail hanging out in the back. I was almost drooling as I thought, "One day I am going to have me a pony-tail too!" So now that I have one my mission has become to keep my hair/scalp healthy and free from overprocessing so that the sections of hair that had stopped growing will continue growing and one day catch up with other sections. Maybe by the time I am 45 my hair will be all one length. At least that is my hope. Because of this, I will only wear my hair in a pony-tail one more day this week -- I try to avoid putting stress on the same areas repeatedly. As a result, I am seeing less breakage.
Just keeping you posted on my progress. Hopefully things are going well with your hair too!
Best Regards,
Carolyn
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Praise the Lord Winter is Over! (5-9-06)
Hey Ladies,
I had to break out the white suit. It is beautiful out, and after a cold winter, I am glad to see my hair held up even though I wore it down probably more than I should have. I am also always glad when a suit fits another year, and I can breathe and sit comfortably in it. :-) Speaking of that, if you haven't already read my article on weight-loss, the Spring is a great time to start a new fitness regimen.
In fact, I have been so busy trying to finish the latest book I am working on (it is based on some of the information I share in the weight-loss article -- due out in Jan 2007), that I have not sat under the dryer to deep-condition in "I-don't-know-when". I have been doing more pre-shampoo treatments using a new improved formula of my hot oil treatment (will be available later this summer), which has worked wonders, especially when I use coconut milk with it (I will share more when I perfect this routine).
This style was recycled from the set I did yesterday. After I massaged my scalp with HHIB Oil Spray, rubbed some onto separate sections, gently combed it and smoothed on some of my Hair Creme, I separated my hair in two sections and put a Caruso curler on the bottom of each for about 5 minutes. Once I took them out, I turned my head upside down so the hair would hang, and then I sprayed the crown area with "Bumble and Bumble" Black Hair Powder (I bought it at PR @ Partners) to temporarily cover my gray, which is showing all the way out (I still have to use hair mascara for the edges)! Because this spray can have a matte finish, I also sprayed a little Isoplus Oil Spray on the crown area to make sure there was shine. This may sound like a lot of steps, but I spent less than 15 minutes total to get a hair style that will last me for the rest of the week or until I shampoo.
Tomorrow I might get the headband out, or I just might do an updo to give my ends a break. At least I have options, which is one of the reasons I like to share my routine, just in case someone might think of something they can do with their hair that they might not have thought of. Hope it helps!
Until the next time...
Peace, Love & Continual Blessings,
Carolyn Gray
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Long Time No See (5-8-06)
Hello Ladies,
I know it has been a while, but I just wanted to say hi and let you know I am hanging in there in terms of trying to take care of my hair. My focus is now on thickness more so than length (I am still trimming my ends myself with trimming scissors I bought from Sally's). This is why you keep hearing me preach about not relaxing or coloring too frequently. I believe the combination of not relaxing/coloring too frequently and massaging my scalp with my HHIB Oil Spray has helped my hair to get a lot thicker over the last 6 months. However, it takes a while for the new growth to reach the ends.
That is where you find me now -- with roots that are a lot thicker than before, which is good, but I am now more tempted to relax at 10 weeks instead of 12 weeks or more.
In this picture, I am a little past the 5-week mark. I shampooed and conditioned my hair in the shower yesterday using Ion Silk Shampoo from their Silk Solutions line (I bought it at Sally's a few months ago) and their Silk Conditioner. The shampoo was really good -- my hair felt like silk when I washed it out, but the conditioner did not leave it as smooth as I thought.
However, after I air dried it overnight (I parted it down the middle and left it loose) using HHIB Oil Spray, I did like the fullness and the way it felt, so maybe it was good. I would have to try it again before I could really recommend anyone try it.
Anyway, I set my hair on 6 large Caruso curlers the next morning like I usually do, but I twisted the hair around the curlers in a spiral pattern and left the curlers in for about 5 minutes. When I took the curlers out, I sprayed my hair lightly with Isoplus Oil Spray, and I separated the curls with my fingers. The style had a lot of swing and bounce; however, the curls won't last more than a day or two. So if I wear it down tomorrow, the ends may need to be bumped/curled a bit.
I will check back with you tomorrow to share what I do next. Not sure if I will wear it up or down... Check back tomorrow on 5-9-06.
Until then...
Take Care,
Carolyn Gray
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Happy 40th to Me (2/15/06)
Hello Ladies,
This is the day after Valentine's Day. See my post from 2/14/06 where I was wearing a hair piece, and I talked a little about us loving our own hair and taking care of it so we are proud to wear our own hair on a regular basis. Fake hair is fine for a time, but my prayer is that we don't let it become the norm. We can get our own hair to be healthier and more beautiful. The goal is to be proud of what we have, and if for some reason we aren't, let's work to get our hair, our bodies and our lives to a state where we are happy with what we have.
My hair is not perfect, but I am on a mission to continue getting it as healthy as I can, especially now since I JUST TURNED 40!!!!!!. I have that goal for you all as well, which is why I invented the Healthier Hair in a Bottle! product line and why I share as much information as I can on this site. With just a little effort, we can see major improvements in a matter of weeks/months. So let's make a decision to make the most of what we have growing from our own heads!
In the meantime, to create this look I curled my hair 6 days ago using the Caruso Steamsetter (5 large curlers rolled upwards). Since then, I have been moisturizing every morning by spraying my scalp with HHIB Oil Spray and then massaging it in and rubbing a little in my hands and on sections. I also rub on a small amount of either HHIB Hair & Body Butter or Carolyn Gray's Hair & Skin Softening Creme (available as samples now) on the ends and hair before getting into the shower. I then alternate wearing updos and wearing it down, pulled back with a headband. Nothing fancy, but I can create a number of looks that work in professional and social settings. So just another option to avoid continual heat styling. I hope it helps.
In the meantime, take care of you and your hair!
Much Love & Continual Blessings,
Carolyn Gray
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Valentines Day (2/14/06)
Hey My Sisters!
I did not get a chance to say Happy Valentine's Day like I had hoped. I had planned to write a long article on loving yourself first as you look for your Mr. Right. However, I never got around to it. I was recovering from a chest cold, an exciting birthday weekend experience in New York (of course they would have major snow) and playing the Mommy & wife role. Also, because it was so cold, I pinned my hair up in a ball and threw my Toni Brattin' hair piece on top of it. So if you saw me running around today, it was not all my hair on top.
I am not an advocate of wearing hair "enhancers" on a regular basis, but sometimes to avoid curling and unnecessary wear and tear on my ends, this is a good temporary styling solution. I say this because the piece fits over my bun like a scrunchie, and it only needs to be secured with 2 bobby pins. I haven't curled my hair since Thursday morning and have worn it down on and off, so this was a good styling break for me. I will wear my hair down tomorrow so you can see what it looks like (I will post a picture).
Until then, I encourage you to look for ways to give your hair a break from heat and other forms of abuse. However, remember it is not a real break if your hair is pulled back too tightly or if glues or bonding agents are used. We must be very careful about how we give our hair so-called breaks. Also, when we do, my preference is to find believable, natural-looking hair pieces -- my husband always says, "Try to fool someone." I personally think it is more becoming to us.
On a day that promotes the celebration of love, I would like to encourage us to love our hair enough not to cover it for long periods with fake hair. Yes, I said it! However, you know I am not talking to sisters who are dealing with health issues that have caused them to lose their hair. I am talking to those of us who never let anyone see our real hair. Our hair does not have to be long, it does not have to be straight --regardless of how it is, we must love it enough not to constantly hide it. There are a number of young sisters, especially celebrities, who I have never seen their real hair. I won't name any names, but it is so early in the game for that. I can understand with some older sisters, who may have serious thinning/pattern baldness issues, but for ladies who are embarrassed because they have short hair, I would encourage you to take your wigs, weaves and hair pieces off more often than you leave them on.
Let's try to get the hair we have in the best shape we can. I will help any way I can -- free samples, advice or even another newsletter if it would help. So my sermon is over, but it has been on my heart for years to say that we can use fake hair for temporary convenience or occasional styling options, but I don't want us to be in bondage to them. Enough said!
Much Love to You,
Carolyn
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Week 12 & Counting (11-14-05)
Hey Ladies,
It's me again. I have posted pictures 3 weeks straight -- at week 10, 11 and now 12 (1 day before week 13, I have had to cancel at least 3 appointments) of my last relaxer. Sometimes people think I have everything all figured out with the hair thing, but these pictures are to let anyone who is confused know that I am just figuring it out as I go along like everyone else. The only difference is that I am sharing as I go. :-)
Anyway, this picture shows me enjoying a day with my hair down before my roots, which are riddled with new growth, get totally out of control. As I mentioned in the pictures I posted for 10/28 and 11/4, I usually wear my hair down the first 2 days after I shampoo.
Well, this picture shows me the day after shampooing and conditioning my hair and then air drying it over night. As I do every day, I massaged the scalp with HHIB Oil Spray and applied it to the hair as well. I also applied HHIB Hair & Body Butter to the hair and ends for protection and extra shine. Then I rolled five sections of hair under with the Caruso Steam Hair Setter for about 5 minutes. Once I took the curlers out, I sprayed my hair with Isoplus Oil Sheen (probably too much because my hair is a little too shiny in this picture). I then separated the curls with my fingers and flipped my head forward, pulling the curls to the top of my head. I tried to leave it down, but it just didn't look right, so I put a large amount of hair up in a banana clip, leaving a few strands out on the left side in the front. I also let some hang out in the back, and I thought it looked pretty decent.
No blow drying/combing/brushing/curling irons/no holding spray and only about 15 minutes worth of effort. Then for a few hours I was able to forget about the fact that I can barely comb my roots! This week I am going to get a touch-up, no matter what! I have fought the good fight as long as I can with these roots.
Hang in there with whatever fight you are fighting!
Love, Peace & Continual Blessings,
Carolyn Gray
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11 Weeks & Counting (11/4/05)
Hi Ladies,
Here I am four days away from the 12-week mark in my relaxer. Lord help, it is a struggle, but well worth it (I hope).
I have learned to cope by weekly shampooing and conditioning. I still air dry, so to keep my hair looking shiny and smooth, I massage my scalp with HHIB Oil Spray every morning and rub HHIB Hair & Body Butter on sections before combing/styling. The first two days after shampooing, my hair and roots are pretty soft, so I usually curl my hair with the Caruso Steam Hair Setter, and I wear my hair down. The next three or four days, when my roots start to get a little bushier, especially in the later stages of my relaxer, I usually wear my hair in an updo (see the 10/28/05 picture). Then after I get tired of that and can't really comb the roots as much, I put it in a pony-tail as you see here. For one or two days a week, this works well for me, and the curls left over from the curling I did on Monday are still around.
This style keeps me from having to comb and detangle as much, and my hair still looks pretty professional. I just make sure the hair in the pony-tail is well moisturized with my Oil Spray and Hair & Body Butter. Now that it is colder, I also put a little Ends Treatment on the very ends.
Another life saver for me, since my edges are a bit "peasy", and I have a good bit of gray, is my black hair mascara -- It makes a major difference in how young/old I look. It also keeps me from being as dependent on coloring my hair. So with that and the HHIB products, I am really good to go, but I must admit every week is a struggle, so I'd be lying if I said I am not looking forward to getting a touch-up VERY soon!
This, and pictures like it, are taken to show that we really can stretch out our relaxers so we are not as dependent on the chemicals. I believe this will eventually improve the overall health of our hair. I must admit I have seen a difference in the thickness of my hair. However, it is a learning process though... When I used to try to do this a little over a year ago, my husband would be asking me, "Isn't it time for a touch-up?" He isn't asking me that as much any more unless he tries to run his hands through my roots real fast, and then we would both be in trouble! :-)
In the meantime, take care of yourself & your hair.
Peace, Love & Continual Blessings,
Carolyn Gray
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New Growth Management (10/28/05)
Hi Ladies,
Here is a picture of me at the 10 week mark in my relaxer as I try to cope with a good amount of new growth. Even though it is a struggle to handle two different textures of hair, I have learned to cope by weekly shampooing and conditioning. I still air dry, so to keep my hair looking shiny and smooth, I massage my scalp with HHIB Oil Spray every morning and rub HHIB Hair & Body Butter on sections before combing/styling. The first two days after shampooing, my hair and roots are pretty soft, so I usually curl my hair with the Caruso Steam Hair Setter, and I wear my hair down. The next three or four days, when my roots start to get a little bushier in the later stages of my relaxer, I usually wear it twisted and pinned up like it is in this picture. I pull most of my hair back like I am going to put it in a pony-tail, then I twist it over to the left, wrap it around the top, over to the left, and then secure it on top with bobby pins. The bobby pins are not actually on the ends, but maybe a fourth of an inch before the ends, and I tuck the ends under. I leave a little hair out in the front, so it doesn't look as boring (sometimes I have strands down on both sides in the front, and others maybe one strand down on the left or the right side).
This is not an exciting hairstyle, but variations of it can give us a low-maintenance professional look to get through the work week. As I do this style, I don't do a lot of combing, I can get away with detangling most of my hair with my fingers, and I use a wide-tooth comb to lightly smooth the hair hanging in the front and on the ends as needed.
Nothing fancy, but these types of styles help me not to relax my hair as much, which is my goal... Hopefully, it can also help some of you stretch your relaxers out as long as you can.
Best Regards,
Carolyn Gray
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Hello Again (9/19/05)
Sorry for the tired face, I just finished feeding kids and helping my son with his homework, and I feel like calling it a day! I know you moms out there can relate!
Surprisingly my hair still looks decent, so even though I just posted a picture last week, I had to post one more... I am 4 weeks into my relaxer, and I have been experimenting with pre-shampoo treatments that you leave in for a few hours before shampooing as opposed to the after-shampoo deep conditioning I normally do. Well, it is too soon for me to conclusively say which I think works best or recommend it to you all, but I have to say after doing one yesterday, then shampooing with my usual KeraCare products and air drying as described in my book with HHIB products, I am very pleased with the body and fullness. I let my hair air dry overnight in two pony-tails, and in the morning I used a blow dryer for about a minute to dry the roots on the right side. I then rolled sections on 4 large Caruso curlers, going upwards. Once done, I separated the individual curls with my fingers, and used a wide-tooth comb for curl definition. I pinned back one side with bobby pins, and lightly sprayed my hair with a silicone shine product. That's it. No heavy combing, brushing or holding sprays, very little heat, and did I mention it only took about 15 minutes this morning (does not include the 5 minutes I spent drying the roots and trimming my ends)?
For the next few days, I will probably wear it in an updo, as the curls will last for at least 2/3 days. Remember the less we do to relaxed hair the better. On that note, I made a decision not to keep my coloring appointment 2 weeks ago -- I am going to skip the color to see if/how it affects the overall health of my hair. I have been researching some safe alternatives to covering my gray. As always, I will keep you posted!
Until then,
Peace & Continued Blessings,
Carolyn Gray
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Hey Y'all (9/9/05)
Hey Ladies,
The summer flew by, and it has been a few months since I have had time to post a picture. Not that a lot is going on other than me experimenting with more natural hair care recipes and writing, but I have been mainly doing updos, which I am starting to get the hang of/enjoy. You would be surprised how easy it becomes after a while to pull up your hair and twist it in various ways (I can show a picture in the future), saving time and wear and tear on your ends.
However, every once in a while, I indulge my husband and put the bulk of my hair in a high pony-tail, and leave a little bit hanging down in the front and back. This is what you see now. I am about 3 weeks into my relaxer, I shampooed, conditioned and air dried my hair about a week ago. This is a recycled style because I actually curled my hair 2 days before this picture was taken. First, I massaged my scalp with HHIB Oil Spray first and put Hair & Body Butter on my hair/ends. I curled my hair with 3 Caruso curlers. Afterwards, I removed the curlers and separated the curls with my fingers. Then I pull a large section up from the crown and secure it with a black elastic band. Sometimes I might even just twist the hair in a ball and pin it instead and then put my little Toni Brattin hair piece on it. There are a lot of options with this keep-it-simple look -- all the hair can be up or just a little out on one side in the front. The only thing is that I notice it puts a little stress on my front edges, so you will rarely see me do a style like this more than twice in a week. We gotta go easy on the edges -- traction alopecia (pattern baldness)is way too common among us.
So hopefully you are going easy on the chemicals, being good to your hair and yourself. Until the next time,
Take Care & God Bless,
Carolyn Gray
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Feelin' Good (6-11-05)
Hey Ladies,
I had one of the most wonderful weekends of my life last weekend. I threw my husband a surprise 40th birthday party last Saturday (6/11), and we had the best Old School dance fest I have ever been to! Slick Rick, Doug E. Fresh and Parliament were all up in the house! I felt so good I even serenaded my husband with 3 Tina Turner songs, even though I can't sing! This is what I am doing in the picture -- singing.
Even though we all had a phenomenally good time at this party, I was really loving life and thankful to God because this was the best/healthiest my hair has looked in years. If you could have seen how thin my hair had gotten a year and a half ago, you would understand why I am so thankful. This is also why I keep preaching sermons about easing up on the chemicals (i.e., relaxers and color). Anyway, on a special occasion like this, having your hair look good is definitely a dream come true. I just got an Affirm relaxer put in (switched from Phytospecific, which I did not like) two weeks before. On 6/9 (two days before the party), I went to PR@ Partners again to get a demi-permanent color put in and a blow dry.
On the day of the party, I put in 5 Caruso curlers after using my HHIB Oil Spray and Hair & Body Butter. After separating the curls with my fingers, I did a number of forward head flips to add body. I flip my head forward and massage it toward the front, then I flip it back and smooth it out. This picture was taken after about an hour of heavy dancing, major sweating and carrying on. However, my hair still looked decent. So I am happy to go back to Affirm and have no noticeable gray for a time! I hope you all are having good hair times as well.
Peace, Love & Blessings,
Carolyn Gray
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Trying to Be Strong Yet Again (5/4/05)
Hi Ladies,
I may be smiling, but I am very annoyed. My edges are so rough and coarse -- I can barely touch up the edges with hair mascara any more (can you see the gray beady beads around the edges?). Instead of making it to the 10th or 11th week of my relaxer with relatively no problem as usual, I was struggling at the 8th week, and now that I am at week 10, I cannot wait to get a touch-up!
Many of you may know that I try to always make it to at least 12 weeks now because I believe that relaxing too frequently can lead to thinning hair. However, this is almost an impossible challenge at this point because if anyone ran their hand through my hair too quickly, they would pull out a plug!
What's the difference you ask? Well instead of my usual Affirm relaxer, I got a Phytospecific (pronounced "Feeto..." as I recently learned) relaxer in February (I went to a PR @ Partners salon in VA). You may have heard of it -- it is supposed to be a soy/egg-based product that is used by celebrities like Oprah (or so they say). I was excited enough to spend $150 (that was even with me leaving with my hair wet in a french braid).
If you notice, I never posted a picture after this using this relaxer... It was because I was not sure how I felt about this new, very expensive relaxer. Although my stylist was raving about how phenomenal it is supposed to be, how much training she received on it, how great my hair was going to feel, how much better the newly relaxed hair would feel -- I think my expectation level was raised too high. All I can remember was when the relaxer was rinsed out of my hair, the texture felt "different", it was not silky smooth like it normally is with Affirm. It was clean, but it just felt a little drier than usual -- all of it, the freshly relaxed hair as well as the already relaxed hair. The stylist put some of the Phyto styling products on it, but my hair did not feel better until I oiled my scalp with my HHIB Oil Spray. Also, I noticed my roots did not seem as straight even though it was left on the normal amount of time, without burning (so it did seem gentler in that respect). I was a little disappointed.
I thought it was just a fluke until I went back for a shampoo and blow dry during the 8th week of the relaxer, where the stylist used more Phyto products -- shampoo, conditioner and styling creme. In fact she gave me a beautiful basket from the Phyto rep with about 8 different full-size hair care products to try because they knew I would write about them on this site.
While I really appreciate the gesture, and although my hair looked good, the roots still seemed real dry and not very straight even though it was blown dry, and the texture of my hair felt "wiggy" and synthetic. Again, I had to go home and oil my scalp with HHIB Oil Spray and put some HHIB Hair & Body Butter on it to get it to feel like real hair again.
So again, I am thinking this is a fluke because the shampoo lady at PR @ Partners was one of the worst I have ever had (she barely massaged my scalp with shampoo so there was residue left, yet she was trying to rub my ends like she was trying to start a fire -- I had to say, "Stop it" and ask her to reshampoo certain areas) to the point where I told the manager/stylist that I only want her to shampoo it going forward (they charge $40 for a shampoo/blow dry, so I have no time for foolishness).
Still I am thinking it must just be me so a few days later I try to fix the weird hair feeling with one of my Phyto samples, the Shea Butter Beauty and Styling Creme (an $18 product). They said it is "brimming with wax and plant oils and delicately scented... softens, ... gives instant radiance to even the dullest hair..." I was so disappointed! It was basically hair grease, like Afro or Ultra sheen products I used to use in the 70's. It was sticky, and it had a real grease smell that left my hair so smelly when I went to bed that night, I was embarrassed and annoyed. It was so sticky and stinky that I had to wash my hair. If you read the beautifully packaged box, you will see that shea butter is the sixth ingredient mentioned on the package, after items like petrolatum, mineral oil and microcristalline wax. I think I would prefer to use Luster's Pink Oil instead -- enough said.
Because the products are so beautiful and expensive, and because I have heard so much about them, I thought surely this one product must be a fluke, especially when I read in the packaging that the French chemist involved in making these products is a black lady with all sorts of advanced degrees. Oh well.
I decided to give the products one more chance by shampooing the beauty styling creme out with the $18 Vital Force Shampoo (for damaged, brittle hair). Again, I was disappointed because it seemed very drying after only one shampoo, and my hair's texture did not feel as soft/smooth as it does when I use shampoos like KeraCare or Creme of Nature. So after the shampoo, I used the $28 Sesame and Jojoba Oils Vital Force Creme Bath conditioner that supposedly "hydrates, restores and protects the hair shaft". Lord, have mercy, what a bust! It was a sticky, stinky mess, but I followed the instructions, using a wide tooth comb to distribute it through my hair and left it on for 15 minutes. After rinsing it out thoroughly, my hair felt drier than normal and definitely not as smooth. This is where you find me now ... I had to use so much oil spray and hair & body butter to get it to look as shiny as it is now. However, it still feels "wiggy" -- my son touched it the hair on top and said, "Your fake hair feels weird." I said son, "This is my hair!"
I had such high hopes for this line of products, yet I have been so disappointed, especially after reading the ingredients for the creme bath conditioner -- the sesame and jojoba oils they mention on the label are like the 10/11th ingredient in a long list of "things" like dipalmoylethyl hydroxyethylmonium methosulfate and trimethylsilylamodimethicone and behenoyl pg-trimoniun chloride. What on Earth? I guess that is the "high-technology haircare" they refer to on the box. I know I am being more hard-hitting than usual, but I really think manufacturers can do better by us.
With all of this said, I can't discount Phytospecific's products because I have not tried them all, and even if I had, I am just one woman, and this is one woman's opinion. The only reason I have gone into such detail is because a number of people have e-mailed to get my opinion of the Phyto relaxer/products. You may try them and love them (I have a friend who was very pleased with the products in her last shampoo appt), but as for me, I will be switching back to Affirm for my relaxer and sticking to other shampoos and conditioners you have heard me mention before.
Now for anyone who wants to know how I turned chaos into something I could leave the house with... I massaged my scalp with my HHIB Oil Spray and smoothed the HHIB Hair & Body Butter on sections of hair, and I set them on 4 Caruso curlers (curled upwards). The section in the front was wrapped in a spiral around a large Caruso curler. When I took the curlers out, I sprayed my hair with Isoplus Oil Sheen. Then I separated all of the curls with my fingers, no combing or brushing. I pulled all of the hair except for a front section into a coated hair band high on my head. Then I twisted the curls over to the left on top of the band, and put a few bobby pins in it. I pulled a few loose strands out on the right and around the sides. It hid some of the turmoil I was going through. So yet again, I am trying to be strong and make it another two weeks for a touch-up!
Take Care & Try to Be Strong Too!
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Trying to Be Strong (1-26-05)
Hey Ladies,
The year is already off to a very busy start, and my roots are trying to make me relax sooner than I should/want to. I am somewhere around 10 1/2 weeks -- my last touch-up was at least a week before Thanksgiving. However, I am trying to remain strong until my birthday, which is about 2 weeks away. I know in my heart that relaxing too frequently is a bad thing (more often than every 6-8 weeks), especially as I near the big 4-0, and it has been the source of many hair woes for me and my hair as it has been for many sisters around the world.
Until then, to avoid excessive handling and detangling, I am handling my hair with great care and wearing it mostly in updos like you see in the picture I posted for 1/15/05).
However, every few days I find myself wanting to wear it down. That's definitely one time where the puffy roots are a benefit - they help styles look fuller without extra effort. Creating this look was very simple. I massaged my scalp with a little HHIB Oil Spray and separated my hair in about 5 sections mainly using my fingers. I applied a small amount of HHIB Hair & Body Butter on each section (maintaining the proper moisture balance has made a big difference in how my hair looks and feels in the later weeks of a relaxer). I then set each section on large Caruso curlers (you can add a little hair wax on your ends if you like), wrapping upwards in a spiral pattern, making sure ends are hidden under hair before covering each curler with its cover (exposed ends usually come out frizzy).
I let the curls set while I did my makeup (about 10 minutes). Then I took each curler out, sprayed my head with Isoplus Oil Sheen and separated each curled section into ringlets with my fingers. I put on a headband, and I was ready to go. Total time, less than 20 minutes -- again, no brushing, very little combing, time and effort. Your hair does not have to be long to do something like this -- the Caruso curlers come in medium and petite sizes for varying lengths. Hopefully this helps someone looking to try a different style.
In the coming year let's try to focus more on hair health and less on the chemicals -- let's be strong together! I think there will be an improvement in our hair in the long run. If I can help, please let me know. In the meantime...
Take Care & God Bless,
Carolyn
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Keeping it Simple in 2005 (1/15/05)
Happy New Year!
Just wanted to share another simple style, especially for any of you that are bored with a plain old bun. Before working out or going out, I might pull my hair into a ponytail, and pull the ponytail up in the back. I then fold the hair upward, twisting the ends and then pinning the hair upwards and down.
The bobby pin is not on the ends themselves, they are hidden inside the hair that is folded over. This gives my hair protection during the winter, but it also gives me a quick, simple style that I can definitely work with.
I hope it helps!
Carolyn
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My Version of Protective Styling (12/8/04)
During the week, I usually curl my hair on Mondays with my Caruso Steam Hairsetter and wear it down, but by Wednesday (today) it usually goes up in an updo/bun like this, especially when it is cold outside.
On Sunday I shampooed according to Week 1 of my regimen although I am really on week 2. :-) I air-dried it in 2 pony-tails overnight with the help of HHIB Moisturizing & Detangling Mist (a detangler and leave-in treatment) and HHIB Oil Spray (on my scalp and hair).
When I woke up, and my hair was pretty dry, I separated it into sections and smoothed on some HHIB Hair & Body Butter to each section. I then combed through the sections. At this point, I trimmed/dusted the ends (I am trying to keep them even as possible), and then I curled it.
Now you catch me as the curls are wearing out... In the interest of not curling more than once a week, saving as much time in the morning as possible, and minimizing the damage to my ends by wearing my hair down a lot, this style is really helpful. In the morning, I just massage oil on my scalp as needed, detangle with my fingers, and smooth on hair butter (morning and night). I pull a few strands down in the front, and twist the back up, securing it with 1 or 2 bobby pins (I often wear it twisted up like this at night). I might do this for the next two days, and on the weekend if I go out, I may wear it down. Otherwise, I might just put it in a bun and wear my little hairpiece until I shampoo again.
This routine may not be the solution for everyone, but it is very convenient for me, and I am hoping it will give me better growth/ends health than wearing it down every day. We shall see... We shall see... :-)
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Guess What I Got? (11/22/04)
I got a touch-up a few days ago after waiting almost 14 weeks. I like the way it turned out for the most part, even though I watched the stylist relaxing another client's hair as I sat under the dryer, and she put the relaxer pretty far down the hair shaft (not just on the new growth). I was really sad because I think she did the same for me -- it is so hard to avoid overprocessing...
Anyway, as I try to relax less frequently and as I try protect my hair more, I got suckered into another purchase, and I am wearing it now! I saw an infomercial on the Home Shopping Network for the Toni Brattin™ Toni Twist Swirls 'n Curls Hair Accessory. It is a hair piece shaped like a hair band. You put your hair in a pony-tail or a bun, and you twist the hair piece onto the pony-tail/bun.
After my touch-up, I sat under the dryer to let my hair get almost half dry, and I left with my hair in a damp pony-tail. When I got home, I oiled my scalp with HHIB Oil Spray and smoothed on some Hair & Body Butter. I then put my hair in a bun, and put the Toni Brattin™ hair piece over it. I then fluffed the hair piece so that it blended in with my hair and covered the bun.
The hair piece was only $20, and the hair looks pretty real/believeable. In fact, I wore it for hours, and my husband and kids did not notice. Because it is not very long, it does not call a lot of attention to itself or my hair. Once I took it off, my son started to complain because he does not want me to wear "fake" hair as he calls it. My husband didn't say it, but he feels the same way. Since he could not tell and did not have "comments", I have been wearing the hair piece on days when I want to protect my hair or when I don't want to do anything to it. However, I would not recommend wearing it when you are going to have dental work done -- I wound up having to take it off!
So as not to put undue stress on my hairline, I don't wear it pulled back the same way repeatedly -- sometime there is a part in different places in the front, and the bun might be high on my head one day and near my nape the next day.
The lesson I am still preaching as I try this new thing is 1) go easy or avoid the chemicals as much as possible and 2) find ways to give your hair a break whenever it is feasible. This picture is me giving my hair a little break. Hopefully I will have some good results to show by the time the fall/winter is over. :-)
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Almost Made It to Week 14 in My Relaxer! (11/17/04)
I am finally going to get a touch-up, 13 weeks and 5 days into my relaxer. Even though a few times over the last few months I had second thoughts about waiting at least 12 weeks for a relaxer, I have decided to stick with this plan. One of the times I reconsidered was when I had my last touch-up, which I talked about in Vol. 9 of my newsletter, when the stylist encouraged me to come back sooner. The stylist before her, the owner of the salon, also encouraged me to come back sooner. After the experience I had there and in the past, I have gone back to my usual distrust of stylists where chemicals and scissors are concerned. :-(
I have seen stylists who seem good that encourage sisters to relax their hair as soon as 4 weeks even though their hair gets noticeably thinner year after year. I have also seen reputable stylists color and perm us at the same time even though our edges may be thin/thinning. I don't see a lot of stylists that really care that these chemicals are burning our hair up. Maybe it is unfair of me to expect them to take that much oversight for their clients. I guess that is like expecting store owners who sell cigarettes to limit the number of packs customers can buy because they are bad for our health. Stylists make money off of relaxers and coloring, so I think we need to form our own opinion on how long we can go before getting touchups, instead of letting them decide for us.
I went a number of years getting them done every 5-6 weeks, and my reward was thinning edges, excessive dryness and overprocessed hair. Adding semi-permanent color to this mix only made matters worse. This schedule led me to relax my hair about 8 times a year on average; however by waiting at least 12 weeks, I can cut that number in half. Just doing it for a short time, I am noticing that my hair is regaining some of its previous fullness, and it feels healthier.
Right now you may notice that I have hair hanging in the front, that is because my edges are pretty fuzzy. Also, I have a part in the front, but it is hard to tell because there is so much new growth. The secret I have found in managing my new growth to 12 weeks and beyond is keeping my hair, especially near the roots well moisturized. I use HHIB oil spray for my scalp, but I use HHIB hair butter (will be available soon) from the roots to the ends in the morning and at night. Also, even though I still usually air dry my hair overnight, I bought an ionic blow dryer with a comb attachment to straighten it a little -- I have used it twice in the 13+ weeks. Before I could use the attachment I had to detangle thoroughly and carefully first. Then I put it on low, and went through all sections at least once. I have not used the flat iron during this period though, but that could be an option for some...
This style is recycled from when I curled my hair with Caruso curlers two days ago. To make it easier to manage, I might wear it down one day and put it in an updo for the majority of the week (detangling by finger-combing every day though). The key is to avoid excessive handling -- do as little as you can in later weeks to avoid breakage. I think our relaxed hair will be healthier in the long run if we develop a little more patience and acceptance where our hair and its texture are concerned... It only took me about 40 years to come to this realization. :-) Let's see if I can stay on the band wagon as I catch up on the growth thing seeing how a whole lotta cutting has been going on, but I wouldn't trade the lessons learned and the enjoyment I am getting from my hair these days. If Thanksgiving wasn't next week, I would go a little longer! However, we will take things one step at a time! In the meantime, Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!
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Its Only Hair (11-9-04)
I feel like such a fool!!!!!! If you saw "The Haunted Mansion" with Eddie Murphy, your kids might remember one of the ghost butlers saying "Whatta FOOL!" My kids and I got such a kick out of that phrase, and it seems so applicable right now. In my left hand I am holding a big ball of my hair that I cut off myself. If you read my last newsletter you know that I had been wearing my hair in buns and updos for the last few weeks. I was enjoying not doing anything to my hair other than twisting it up everyday. Even though I am past the 12 week mark in my relaxer, I continued to airdry, and I was not diligent about combing my hair through thoroughly, especially as I used my huge, wide-tooth comb. Then a period of strep throat for me, sick kids, and a couple weeks of not shampooing and half-baked combing/detangling left me with a few tangled areas that could not be combed or loosened AT ALL. I used the best detangling shampoo and conditioner I could find, I used leave-in treatment after leave-in treatment --I wet, I re-wet. I was up from 11:00 pm until about 2:30 am trying to get the terrible knots that were hidden under some of the layers of my hair. Finally, I pulled out my trimming scissors, and starting cutting areas that were hopelessly tangled. This has never happened to me before, and to cut this much of my hair you know I tried everything possible first. However, I was trying to get my hair looking decent for some weekend activities I was going to and as I made an appointment with a new stylist to get a touch-up, I knew I could not let this foolishness go on any longer. So I looked in the mirror and came to the conclusion "It's Only Hair!". Praise the Lord it will grow back, but for now, I have a number of one-inch sections of hair on the left side of my head. Because I combed through so much, I wound up trimming quite a bit too -- at first I was mad, but the ends feel real good and even, and as I said it will grow back. Correcting my own mistake made me feel empowered. If I ever have to have my ends cut, I would prefer to do it myself -- somehow it feels better. So after getting all the knots out and trimming my hair extensively, I let it airdry overnight in 2 pony-tails with the help of HHIB Oil Spray. In the morning, it was nice and soft, but in need of a little straightening, so I used my new ionic blow dryer with a comb attachment on each section after I gently detangled it and put a little HHIB Hair & Body Butter on it (free samples are available by request for a limited time). I put a little wax on the ends and curled about 6 sections going upwards with my Caruso curlers. I smoothed the ends with my comb and sprayed a little oil sheen on it. I think I will wear it up tomorrow, but you can bet I will make sure I keep it detangled! That is my lesson-learned as well as "IT IS ONLY HAIR!"
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First Picture After a Big Chop (10/5/04)
Hello Ladies,
For those of you who read Vol. 9, you may remember that I had a bad experience at my last touch-up appt. Among other things I wound up letting someone "even up" my hair who I shouldn't have. As a result, I have worn my hair in a bun almost every day since. This is one of the few days I have worn it down in the last 7 weeks. I'll admit my hair was very uneven to the point where I had a lot of different lengths going on, especially in the back. So, after almost week 8, I am "starting" to view this as a fresh start for my hair and ends. My ends are even and feel the healthiest they ever have, and I can even get them to flip up now, so it is all good.
Anyway, this is a look I wore to the office today. It was real easy to create... I parted my hair in about 5/6 sections and smoothed on a small amount of my new hair butter (it adds a lot of shine and protection -- a limited number of samples may be available later this month), gently combed each section, put a little wax on the ends, and rolled the sections upwards with large Caruso curlers from my Caruso Steam Hairsetter. I left them in for about 10 minutes. After removing them, I separated the curls with my fingers. I then pulled up a large amount of hair at the crown with a hair clip and used bobby pins to secure loose curls on the side. So after about 15 minutes of effort, no comb or brush to style, and even though I woke up late, had to make lunch for my kids, get them out of the door for the bus, I was still out of the house on time with my hair styled. Did I mention I will not need to curl it again for the rest of the week? Did I also mention that this picture was taken at the end of the day? I say all of this to show that we can get professional looks, without a lot of time, heat and harsh treatment of our hair, even when we are 6+ weeks into relaxers.
I do want to say that I am becoming more and more convinced that relaxers and heavy duty chemicals are not our friends and great diligence and care is required. So as we continue to relax/color, healthier methods of styling are essential. Hope this helps... If you see me tomorrow, I think I might resort back to my bun variations, especially as it gets colder!
Until the next time,
Carolyn
:-)
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A Few Hours After Working Out 3-20-04
Hey Ladies,
Since summer and 40 are right around the corner for me, I have been trying to workout on a regular basis, faithfully. Don't be too impressed, it's only been 3 weeks! Anyway, my goal has been to walk at least 10 miles a week (2 miles a day/5 days a week -- I usually take the weekend off).
Since I goofed off one day this week, I just came back from the gym. I walked 3 miles on the treadmill (45 minutes, 5 minutes of warmup/cool-down). It is obvious I am not used to doing anything because I was sweating like I had run a marathon -- there was makeup and black dye all over my towel!
This picture shows what I did with my hair once I took it down after getting out of the shower. Believe it or not, the hair you see hanging in the front was loose during most of my workout, and it was wet from sweat. I kept tucking it in with the bun I had the rest of my hair in on top of my head.
Because I am starting to ramble, I will put the few tips I am following before/after my workouts in vol. 8 of The Black Hair Advocate newsletter. Hopefully it can help some of you with questions on this topic.
On another note, although I am keeping the ends relatively frizz-free, my roots are a jungle (I flat-ironed my hair on Wednesday). It "feels" so much easier to get a touch-up next week, but I am still a little relaxer-shy after my overprocessing experiences that I am still recovering from! Again, I say sisters be careful with these chemicals, they are no joke!
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Pony Tail Method 1-15-04
Well, I passed the 12 week mark in my relaxer. Here, I just shampooed my hair a few hours ago according to Week 1 of my regimen, and I am air drying my hair using the pony-tail method. When the roots are this thick, I always go with two pony-tails, instead of one. Do you notice you can barely see the part?! Priority one next week is to find a stylist with good recommendations to touch-up my Affirm relaxer! Pray for me! After a few bad experiences with stylists and chemicals, I am real 'scured (and no I don't mean scared, I mean 'scured!).
Anyway, I trimmed the ends with my new companions (Jilbere shears) -- the trimming thing can become addicting because every time I air dry, I see a section that could do with a little snip here and there. I am looking at it as pruning away the overprocessed ends.
Until I get my touch-up, I plan to try to avoid using my new flat iron (I did not use them here), but if I do use it, I promise to keep it on the "1" setting!
I posted this picture to encourage any of you who are trying to stretch out your relaxer. It can be done. You do not have to go to 12 weeks or beyond -- you can let your own roots be your guide. I just want us to be more chemical-conscious and try to cut our use of them down to a minimum. I think many of us have forgotten how harmful they can be -- not just relaxers, but dyes too.
Another reason for this picture was to reconfirm that you can still air dry your hair straight in later weeks of a relaxer, it just takes a good shampoo, conditioner, leave-in treatments and a rich oil to seal in the moisture and shine. To frizzy ends and to give protection against cold weather, I use the Healthier Hair in a Bottle! Ends Treatment.
Well that is it for now, you won't see any more pictures until I get a touch-up!
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Overprocessed, but It's Okay
Hopefully you will get a chance to check out vol. 7 of my newsletter, "Overprocessed & Blue, Don't Let It Happen to You! In it, as always, I share some of my personal and disappointing hair experiences. In it, I mentioned that a stylist I visited 6 weeks ago for my touch-up was very critical of my hair and diagnosed it as being overprocessed. While I agreed with her that it has been overprocessed over the last few years (even though I stopped over the last year or so -- the evidence is still there), I did not like how she told me, and I did not agree with her desire to trim off over 3 inches! She did motivate me though to continue giving my hair as much TLC as I can as I grow out the overprocessed ends. She also motivated me to take the trimming matter into my own hands. I am now armed with trimming scissors, and I trim my ends as needed. I refuse to do it all at once, especially since I don't have split-ends. One day the evidence of my past mistakes will be gone, but for now I am hanging in there.
In the meantime, my hair may not be perfect, but it is mine, and I think it looks pretty decent when I do something to it. Here's a picture of me trying on the outfit I was supposed to wear a few days ago (with a jacket of course). I was all excited about going to see Earth, Wind & Fire, The Isley Brothers, Bruce Bruce, Rick Smiley, etc. I was more excited about seeing Bruce Bruce (a comedian I saw on BET's Comic View), but I was too disappointed when the show was cancelled without reason. I was all excited about wearing this outfit (a gift from my hubby), and I had found some boots to match the leather pants that go with this top! FYI... Nine West Outlet stores are having a 50% off sale on their boots!
Anyway, I washed my hair the day before this picture following Week 6 of my regimen. I air dried it using the pony-tail method. I used my HHIB Oil Spray for shine and sheen and the Ends Treatment product (this will be available next week!) on the ends. I used 2 Caruso curlers in the front (spiral curled), 1 in the crown going back, and 4 in the back curled upwards. I teased the hair in the crown a little after combing that one section out, but I separated the rest of the curls with my fingers. I did not use a comb again, and I did not use a brush at all. So overall this style involved no blow dryer, no curling iron, very little heat, very little combing and no brushing, no hair spray, and the best thing is it only took me about 15 minutes to set and style it!
So did this overprocessed thing get me down? Yes, but it is not the end of the world. Have I lived and learned? You know it, and I don't intend to make the same mistakes again, and I share this with the hope that none of you will wind up overprocessed and blue either. Request vol. 7 of The Black Hair Advocate if you want to hear me ramble more on this topic! :-) In the meantime, take care & God Bless, My Sisters!
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Relaxed and Trimmed on 7-11-03
Hey Ladies, I made it past the 12 week mark in my relaxer again!!!! It can be done, and it is getting easier -- my two secrets to stretching the relaxers out, without the comb getting stuck in the new growth, are 1) shampooing every 3-4 days with gentle shampoos; and 2) Don't think I am trying to peddle my own product, but I have to say Healthier Hair in a Bottle! Oil Spray. As a result, praise the Lord, my hair is finally trying to get thicker around the edges and in the back as I relax less frequently.
If you relax, try it one week at a time and see how you do. The rewards are worth the effort. I can't believe my hair is healthier and longer now at 37 than it ever was even when I was a child (before chemicals). Even with my hair issues and drama along the way, I consider this a blessing. As a final note, I still air dried my hair all the way up to week 12 -- that can be done too! I will give more tips to make it a lot easier in the second edition that I am still trying to finish (hopefully, in the next month or so). In the meantime, take care and keep the faith in your hair growing efforts.
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Again, Freshly Relaxed Trimmed 12 Weeks 7-11-03
Yeahhhh!!!! My ends are trimmed and my roots are straight. I am just back from the beach, and my hair is getting a much needed break from chlorine (I don't use a cap -- the head's too big). Obviously, I am happy because I am letting you see me without any makeup on!!! My latest challenge has been working to make sure my ends are as full as they can be, and I am trying to do that without wearing protective styles. I don't like to wear my hair the same way for long periods, and I have to say I like to wear it loose -- why grow it, if I can't show it? That's why I wanted to grow my hair long, so I can enjoy styles I used to watch other ladies wearing. Anyway, I have also been working on an ends treatment to help me keep my ends full and healthy as I continue to wear my hair down/loose 98% of the time. I will keep you posted on its progress, and mine too! :-)
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(6-14-03) 8 Weeks Into Relaxer
I am so happy! Not only did I just finish a night of dancing to celebrate my husband's birthday, but it was also the 3rd time in over a decade that I made it past 8 weeks in my relaxer! I am trying to make it past week 12 again, like I did for the last one (before that I only made it to week 10). I am living proof that it can be done, and your hair does not have to be in a pony-tail or bun. By shampooing and conditioning every 3-4 days, using wrapping lotion to help me detangle, and doing twist sets, I have been surviving. Using Aveda Sap Moss products and Healthier Hair in a Bottle (HHIB) have been a major blessing in terms of helping me manage my new growth, without experiencing unnecessary breakage..
This look was achieved by parting my freshly air dried hair (I actually shampooed and conditioned on 6/13/03) into 4 sections, doing a twist for each section. I made each section damp with a detangling, moisturizing mist spray that I will be sharing with you later (you can use water if you wish or nothing at all), and then smoothed on HHIB. I then twisted each section, and when it was about 3/4 of the way dry, I untwisted and separated each section, and put more oil on it. To try to smooth out the ends a bit before going out, I bumped the ends with two Caruso Curlers. This was good for going out dancing -- a section is pulled up high in the back with a black clip. I had a mixture of textures going on -- part crinkly and part straight. Sometimes, you just have to play with looks to find out what works for you. I get ideas from looking at styles in all types of magazines and shows ( all types of women ).
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Getting Ready for Summer 4-25-03
I am so glad the Spring is fully underway, and I am already pulling out the summer clothes. Here I am trying on one of my little sun dresses to make sure it fits, and I decided to put my hair in one of the styles I like to sport on vacation or at the beach.
To get it, I shampooed my hair about 2 hours before bed last night (after walking on the treadmill) according to Week 1 of my regimen. I let it air dry in two pony-tails overnight. When I woke up this morning it was about 90% dry, and after combing it through and smoothing on a little more Healthier Hair in a Bottle, I let it completely dry hanging loose. Once it was dry, I put 3 large Caruso curlers on the ends in the back for about 10 minutes. From there, I finger-combed and teased it, and pulled it back with a clip -- no combs or brushes, no blow dryers,and no curling irons. This leaves me with a simple look that takes very little effort, and it will last me for the next 3 days depending on how much I exercise or whether I swim. I know a lot of ladies who dread vacations because of the effort required to maintain their hair, but I am here to tell you that thanks to a few tricks I am picking up as I get older, the less stressed I am about doing my hair, and I a'int afraid to go to the beach without a blow dryer or a curling iron! I a'int scured no more, and I don't want other sisters to be. Even if you don't totally perfect the air drying, the untrained eye won't know once you put some curls in it, or you could just do a plait, twist or braid set. Either way, I thought I would encourage you to try to simplify your routine and get ready for the beach, like I am doing! However, before I make it to the beach, my goal is to finish the updated edition of my book where I will share my swimmer's regimen (among other things), which will make vacationing a little easier too! Until then, have a great Spring!
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OvernightTwist Set 1-28-03
I went swimming yesterday! As a result, I shampooed according to Week 1 of my regimen (with a little help from Ion's Anti-Chlorine Shampoo and conditioner), and because it was so late, I did a twist set (described in my book) a few hours before going to bed. After taking it down, spraying it with Isoplus and rubbing some oil and Vaseline on the ends, this is what I got -- a hairstyle that did not require any heat, only took a few minutes in the morning to style, requires no combing or brushing and that will last for at least 3-4 days, if not longer. This is one of the easiest styles to wear, and it is great when you are near the end of a relaxer and you are trying to stretch it out longer. I have worn this type of style in office settings, and my husband really likes it! :-)
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Carolyn's Protective Bun 11-17-02.jpg
Over the years, I have very rarely worn protective styles of any kind. To be honest, I never could get one to look cute enough where I wanted to be seen wearing it for more than a few hours. Anyway, after finding a few tips on hair boards regarding the use of curl activator to smooth the hair down, I am becoming a big fan. As I mention in Vol. 4 of my newsletter, I think protective styles might be a necessary step in helping to protect the ends and acquire faster, healthier hair growth. This style was very easy and quick to create with the help of a black scrunchie. I separated the pony-tail in two parts and wrapped each part around the scrunchie, tucking the ends under the scrunchie, and securing the bun itself with a few bobby pins.
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Carolyn's Updo Picture 11-14-02.jpg
I just completed Week 1 of my 6-Week regimen. I air-dried my hair, and put 4 Caruso curlers in just the back of my hair (see book for details on how to use). The curlers were left in for about 15 minutes (much longer than I usually leave them in, which will keep me in curls for the next 3-4 days). I hate the really curly look when it is down, so I put a clip in and came up with an updo. I thought I would share it as a way to demonstrate some options after using my pony-tail method to air-dry (fully described in the book). One note I should add, you probably notice how shiny my hair is. This is because I unthinkingly sprayed Isoplus Oil Sheen on after taking the curlers out, this step is definitely not needed after air drying because of the leave-in products put in to help your hair dry straight and shiny -- it was overkill! Other than that, you can recycle this type of style to keep you from curling your hair for days -- less time spent in the morning (finger comb to style), less stress and less breakage. Pin it up at night and use a satin cap, scarf or pillow cover to keep it looking fresh.
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Back View of Carolyn's Updo 11-14-02.jpg
Here is the back view of the updo. Too shiny again -- I don't know why I used Isoplus. I think it is out of habit because I normally use it before styling, except for directly after air drying. Regardless, this was a style that took me less than 20 minutes to create, and no blow dryers, curling irons or flat irons were used.
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Carolyn Gray After Updo 11-14-02.jpg
Here is the clip I used to pin my hair up in the updo you just saw. When you use a few large Caruso curlers in the back (by large, I mean the largest for your length you create a lot of body, and using a clip to push the hair up a bit creates volume, almost making longer lengths look like a fall/hair piece. Ladies with shorter lengths can use bobby pins or other appliances to create similar looks, especially as the holidays approach!
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Trimmed Ends 11-08-02.jpg
I just got my ends trimmed yesterday (there were a few questions about my ends in the 10/28/02 pictures). I had been doing a "study" on the necessity of trimming ends if you have healthy hair habits and don't have split ends. You will be able to read my findings/conclusions in vol. 4 of my newsletter (will be available next week), "To Trim or Not to Trim?" Even though I don't like the way my hair looks after a touch-up or the way my back looks in these types of pictures (it is work not to have rolls showing), I wanted to get a picture out here with trimmed ends. I will do other pictures further into the relaxer, after I shampoo and curl it.
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Before and After Pictures of Author.jpg
The left picture shows how my hair looked back in 1997, and the right picture shows me in 1999, after following the regimen for about 2 1/2 years. The right picture also shows my hair after I completed week 3 of my Six-Week shampooing/conditioning regimen --drying my hair naturally, without a blow dryer AND curling my hair without a curling iron!
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Cheryl Frank Before (Nov 99) and After (Jan 02)
Cheryl and I worked together when this book was first being published. In fact, she bought the first copy. Even though she relocated, she has always kept in touch to let me know her progress. Recently, I was very
surprised and pleased to receive an e-mail from her with miraculous before and after pictures. Here are Cheryl's own words:
"This is my hair journey -- My hair journey got a big boost when in Feb 99, I had the good fortune to work at a telecomm co. with Carolyn Gray, the author or "The Black Woman's Guide to Beautiful, Healthier Hair in Six Weeks" (blackwomansguide.com). She helped me to understand how to take proper care of my hair."
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Secrets.jpg
Check the girlfriend corner section for the story on this picture...
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